First off, let me just say how good it is to be back! Back to doing my most favorite thing in the entire world: spreading the gossip! This summer proved to be a great break from the chaos of the UES. But now it’s fall and that means it’s time for all new drama. Thank goodness our favorites were up to their usual, scandalous selves!
The save the dates are out! Blair and Louis are definitely getting married. Ahhh, you go, B! The soon to be princess spent her summer in Monaco with her royal fiancé. Ooh la la. But Blair recently returned to New York and this meant it was time to plan her wedding. Yesss! The only problem was that Louis’ mom Sophie was being a real mother of the groom-zilla! She had an opinion on EVERYTHING. And it seemed like it was either her way or no way. The woman knew what she wanted for her son’s wedding and that was that. Blair was undoubtedly unhappy with this. It was one thing for her to carry carnations (slit my throat with a thorn!) down the aisle instead of peonies, but it was a whole other thing for her to wear Sophie’s dress to the wedding, not to mention in a spread for Paris Vogue. Um, amazing, much? Of course, Blair wanted to look her absolute best – not show up in someone’s hand me downs. Ce n’est pas chic! One would think in her desperate time of need Blair would have an ally in her fiancé to help her out. But unfortunately, Louis was unable to step up to his mother. Talk about a garçon de maman!
Blair was upset with Louis. Why couldn’t he just say no to his mother? Louis understood where Blair was coming from. Perhaps she had a point. This was no way for the two of them to live. So, Louis decided to take a stand. He was going to tell his mother that this was Blair’s wedding and therefore the bride would be making the decisions from here on out. But first, Blair would accompany Louis to the General Assembly Gala. This may not sound like a big deal but it totally was! Non-royalty was 100% not allowed to go. But it seemed like Louis didn’t care what anyone thought. He loved Blair and that’s all that mattered. Swoon!
Another person who had returned to NYC was Dan Humphrey. He had been in the Hamptons for the summer but was now back in Brooklyn and on a serious mission. Turned out, Jeremiah Harris (you know, his old boss) had told him about a story that was going to run in Vanity Fair. And it sure sounded like something Dan would write: modern mores and misdoings of the upper crust of Manhattan. Plus, the main character was named Dylan Hunter and initials being what they are…Dan was confused. How was this possible?! When he arrived back to the loft, his suspicions were proven correct. Vanessa had stolen his story! What a sneak! The big problem was that this Vanity Fair excerpt was about Blair; a person currently on the tip of everyone’s tongue – and the front page of the tabloids. Dan had to put a stop to this at once. And there was only one person who could help: Louis! Dan went to see the prince and begged him to do something. If this story ever saw the light of day, no one would be happy. Certainly, Louis’ could throw his royal weight around!
Out in Los Angeles, Serena was working on the movie adaptation of The Beautiful and the Damned. And let me just say this: it’s really weird seeing S doing menial things like getting people coffee and collating script pages. But surprisingly, she seemed to actually like it. However, Serena was having trouble with her co-worker, Marshall. He was a total jerk who belittled her and took all the good jobs for himself. Rude. Lucky for Serena, she had some old friends in LA to help her out; Nate and Chuck had sailed to the City of Angels on Allegra Versace’s yacht. Los Angeles was the last stop on the Nate and Chuck World Tour. From the looks of it, the summer had changed Chuck. I know, weird. In fact, Chuck had a whole new mantra. He said yes. To everything. So with some prodding from her pals, Serena adopted his philosophy, and went to talk to Jane, the producer of the film she was gophering on – I mean working on. Accidentally, S let it slip that it was she, and not Marshall, who wrote the comparison of the book to the screenplay that production had been using during filming. Oops. Jane offered to give Serena more responsibility. But when Marshall found out, he was majorly pissed. Serena thought she could do a better job than he could? Let’s see about that. So, Marshall gave S his lengthy to do list with a 24 hour deadline. Eek.
Too bad, Chuck’s sunny disposition only took him so far. After discovering Blair’s save the date (which Nate had hid), Chuck decided to step up his new way of life. He had a date with Ally, a stunt woman from Serena’s movie. They were going to a party in the hills that everyone was attending. Chuck wanted to drive his motorcycle (I know, Chuck Bass on a bike’s kinda hot). Ally thought that was a stupid idea. The hills are dangerous and one could easily get hurt. But Chuck didn’t care. He wanted to live on the wild side. And he got his wish. While riding like a mad man, Chuck wiped out on Mulholland. Scary! Thankfully, he was able to get up and walk it off. Damn that Bass is resilient. But Ally didn’t like what she saw. Their date came to an abrupt end right then and there.
Serena finished her to do list. With time to spare no less! She even accomplished the final task, which was a bit odd: get the star of the movie, Patrick Roberts, his medicinal weed. Only in LA, kids! At the party, Serena was excited to show Marshall she could handle her task. But sadly, Serena quickly realized that she had been duped. Big time. Turned out, Patrick was in recovery. Pot was definitely off-limits. So much so that if he was caught smoking it, the movie would get shut down. Oh crap! Serena could not believe Marshall would set her up like that. What an a$$. Marshall never thought S could actually complete all the tasks on the list. He pleaded his case – he needed the job more than her – this was his career, but to Serena, working on the movie was just her summer pastime. So, Serena took the fall for the pot delivery. She admitted she was the one who gave Patrick the drugs. Someone had played a joke on her. She’d clear out her desk ASAP. Can you say Hollywood drop out?
And just when you thought that the Serena fiasco was the biggest Hollywood happening, Nate turned it up a notch. He had decided that he wanted to reinvent himself. Maybe LA was the right place for that. With his best friend’s new favorite word ringing in his ears, Nate was ready to start fresh. So when he met a sexy, mysterious, older woman at the party, he said yes! Did he own the house they were in? Yes! Could he give her a tour? Yes! And since this is Nate Archibald we’re talking about here, he ended up having sex with the woman on one of the bedroom floors. Oh, Nate – you even made her say yes! When they were putting their clothes back on, the woman came clean. This was actually her house. Whoops. And now it was time for Nate to leave. See ya, N.
However, Nate left his phone behind. Accidentally? We’ll never know. He had to go back the next day to retrieve it. When Nate got there and saw the woman, he apologized for lying. She accepted but made him leave at once. No afternoon sex session on the agenda. But perhaps something else is on the agenda, because right before Nate arrived, the mysterious woman was talking to someone on the phone about having made contact with Nate. Hmm. What’s this lady up to?!
Back in New York, Louis did some standing up – but not in a good way. He totally bailed on Blair and never showed up at the General Assembly gala. WTF? She was livid. That fickle Frenchman! When Blair finally got a hold of Louis, he wouldn’t tell her where he was. The nerve! So, Blair went to see, oh God I can barely write this, Dan. Yes, that Dan. She was worried and scared. What was she doing marrying a man who she wasn’t sure she could depend on? Blair decided she was going to call off the engagement. Whaaaaat? And after she did that, she was going to want to get away. Was the house in the Hamptons free? Dan could not believe what he was hearing. Yes, the house was free and yes, he would go away with her. OMFG what is going on in the world?! But then Louis showed up at the loft. But he wasn’t there looking for Blair. He was there for Dan. Louis was able to kill the story for Vanity Fair. He told Blair the truth about what he had done. The story would have embarrassed her. See, he really was there to protect and fight for her. A real prince! Blair was pissed at Dan. Humphrey knew where Louis was all along and he was still going to let her run away with him? What the hell? What was his reasoning? Um, WAIT! D likes B? Still?!?
Rufus read Dan’s story – and loved it! Though he was surprised that the hero gets entangled with Blair. Dan informed his dad that he didn’t just write a short story. There was a whole book. Whoa. And then Dan got an unexpected check in the mail. From Vanessa. For $10,000. As well as a note congratulating him on his first novel. OMG! Is Lonely Boy becoming Published Author? Ah!
To add to all the drama, I had received the tip of the year in regards to someone in the Waldorf residence’s womb. A dumpster dive unearthed a positive pregnancy test. Was it Blair’s? Serena’s? In an anti-climactic realization, it was discovered that it was just Dorota who was preggers. Sorry, Dorota, but you’re married and already have a baby. How unscandalous is that? Oh, well. Congrats to the Kieslowski-Prohka family. Hope your second kid’s just as cute as Ana.
It seems like in Hollywood people get second chances – first Robert Downey, Jr., then Mickey Rourke and now Serena van der Woodsen. Even after the ganja fiasco, Jane told Serena she wanted her to come work for her. She liked what she saw in the diligent and dedicated employee. Obviously, Serena said Chuck’s favorite word: “yes!”
Chuck and Nate were heading back to NYC (finally!). Chuck told Nate about how he found Blair’s save the date. He was appreciative of his friend’s support, but there was no point in sheltering him. Chuck was definitely over Blair. Her getting married didn’t bother him at all. Come again? Although it still seemed like Chuck was suffering through something. Maybe it wasn’t an emotional injury but it certainly was physical. It may have appeared that Chuck was totally okay after the motorcycle crash but he definitely wasn’t. He had a HUGE bruise near his ribcage. Ouch. How did he manage to walk that off? Get better, C!
While Blair was getting fitted for her wedding dress, Louis FINALLY grew a pair and stood up to his mother. Blair was going to carry peonies down the aisle. End of story – or so we think. The seamstress altering B’s dress asked her, are you ready for this, when she was due. As in Blair’s pregnant. As in, WTF?!?!?! But shhh…I don’t think B’s told anyone yet. Including the baby’s father…
With Serena now working for Jane, she was going to be staying in LA. What is the UES with no S? Sad. But out and about in the City of Angels, Serena ran into Charlie! Or was it Ivy? Someone should ask that girl for some I.D. Charlie and her boyfriend were working at a restaurant – she as a hostess, and her boyfriend as a chef. But once Charlie saw Serena, she dropped her apron and pretended she was just a patron stopping in for a latte. That’s one way of quitting a job, I guess. Serena was shocked to see her cousin in LA. What was she doing there? S was excited to catch up with her. And with that, it was time for Charlie to become a Rhodes once again. Whoa.
Enough drama for you? I can’t even imagine what’s going to happen next. The only thing I do know is that I will be there, ready to give you the latest, up to the minute info. You can count on me.
xoxo
