Pierogies for 2

Boy, was I used this week. And unlike most people, I love being used! Breaking such scandalous stories is my job. I’m glad people always come to me for digging up the dirt. You’re so very welcome.

Prince Louis of Monaco was in New York City. Yes! That fine piece of microstate tail wanted to see Blair and of course, our UES princess was flipping out. She needed the perfect outfit. This guy was royalty and she needed to look every bit the blue blood that she kind of was. This was huge! Her minions would flip their shiz if they knew who she was going on a date with. Take that, Penelope. Unfortunately, Louis asked Blair to keep mum on his appearance in NYC. His family didn’t know he was in town. So he and Blair would have to meet in a secretive place that paparazzi would never go. Since she’d hung out with Dan Humphrey one too many times, she knew of the perfect place: Veselka. Pierogies for 2, please!

Though when Blair arrived for her date with Louis at the LES restaurant, she was surprised to find Dan there. Geez, that kid is like obsessed with Ukrainian food or something. Blair made him leave at once. But little did Blair know Dan was there on a writing assignment. An editor at Paris Match wanted him to follow around some Prince and write an article. Though once Dan realized Blair was actually on a date with this Prince Louis, he graciously bowed out of the assignment. Thanks, Humphrey.

But Lonely Boy wasn’t the only spy out in the cold. Too bad for Blair and Dan, Serena had listened to Vanessa’s message about a Waldorf-Humphrey kiss. She was skeptical. Her BFF and ex-BF were the last two people she’d ever think would smooch. But her curiosity got the best of her. So Serena sent her cousin Charlie down to Veselka to snoop around where Dan had been spotted. Welcome to our world, Serena’s cousin. Waiting outside the eatery, Charlie saw Dan go into the restaurant… followed by Blair, dun dun dun! Charlie assumed it meant bad news for Serena and alerted her cousin at once. S could not believe this. How could B and D?!  So Serena marched all the way downtown to confront those sneaky jerks. But when she got to Veselka, she was surprised to find Blair sitting there with Louis. No Dan in sight. Obviously, Charlie had just been mistaken. She was new in town after all. These things happen. Phew.

Sadly for B though, it looked like the Prince’s visit to the Big Apple was going to end early. His parents had found out where he was and with whom, and his handler, Lucien, was coming to bring him back to France ASAP. A Blair-Louis relationship just didn’t seem to be in the cards. Boo! Though when Blair found out that it was Dan who had spilled the beans on Louis’ location, she was livid. Turned out, the Paris Match editor was a fake and just used Dan to confirm Louis’ whereabouts. Rude! So Blair had an idea. She was going to stage an intimate moment between her and Dan in front of Lucien. This way he’d see nothing was going on with Blair and Louis and then let the prince stay in NYC. And she and Louis would therefore live happily ever after. One of B’s perfect plans strikes again. But unfortunately for her, Charlie snapped a pic of Blair and Dan tie shopping at Paul Smith and sent the incriminating evidence to Serena. Poor S. Maybe Charlie was right about those two after all…

Meanwhile, Lily had been sentenced to house arrest. This involved an electronic ankle monitor and everything. Being trapped in the apartment was pretty bleak but thankfully she had making gift bags for the Pink Party to keep her busy. Or not. Because Anne Archibald showed up and announced she and the other society women would be taking over gift bagging duties. They wouldn’t need Lily’s help anymore. Those bitches! Of course Rufus was worried about his wife. This was all Lily had to keep her sane. So he, Eric and Serena came up with an idea to move the Pink Party to their house. Just because Lily couldn’t go to the party, didn’t mean the party couldn’t come to her. Genius!

At the Pink Party, Serena and Charlie were out to out Blair and Dan. The nerve of those two blatantly lying to S’ face. How dare they? So when Blair and Dan snuck out of the room, Charlie followed. And she nabbed the best/grossest video I have ever seen. It was Blair and Dan making out. Vomit! Charlie sent it to me and then of course I sent it to everyone. Hope you all could stomach it. I hardly could myself.

But a busted Blair was in a bad position. She couldn’t admit the kiss was staged because then Louis would have to leave NY. So in front of everyone, including Lucien, she confirmed it. Blair and Dan. Dan and Blair. They were totally together. OMG!

Lucien may have been relieved to learn that Blair was with Dan and not Louis, but Serena was beyond pissed off. So what’d she do? She marched up to Louis and told him that Blair and Dan were 100% a couple. Louis was confused of course. Blair had told him she was only pretending for Lucien. But Serena said that was false. Blair had deceived him once again.

Alone with S, Blair and Dan tried to explain to her why they’d kissed. This time and the time before. They’d hung out over the Xmas break and sort of bonded. They only kissed to make sure that neither felt anything for one another. It meant nothing. Either time. For reals. But S was still angry. The only reason Blair liked Dan was because he was Serena’s. That made Blair mad. Blair and Dan did things they could never do with Serena. They had a connection. Besides, the spotlight’s not always just for Serena van der Woodsen. Ouch.

The society ladies were being especially bitchy. Even at Lily’s own house. Anne told her she hadn’t been there for her when she was going through her own Archibald drama. Why should anyone be there for Lily now? Eek. As far as Anne was concerned, this was Lily’s last society party. Double eek. Lily had had enough. So she went downstairs to the lobby of the building and surely enough the cops came. Being in the lobby violated her house arrest. Lily said she wasn’t sure of her parameters, but that wasn’t the point. There was a party going on upstairs that was much too noisy. Perhaps the cops could break it up? Good one, Lily! Seriously, suck it, socialites.

All the while, Raina had decided she wanted to try to find her mother, Avery Thorpe. Though Chuck, who was in a weird, sullen mood, warned her not to. If Raina’s mother had wanted to get in touch with her, she would have. Raina had just lost her father, was she ready to be rejected by her mother, too? Um, sound familiar? Anyway, Raina wasn’t giving up the search. So when she found out there was an Avery Thorpe who was working at a diner she set out with both Nate and Chuck in tow. But the woman there turned out not to be her mom. Bummer!

But Chuck knew something more. Before Russell left, he’d told him that Bart was responsible for Raina’s mother’s death. Remember the fire at the Kinberg building? The one Bart set? That fire killed Raina’s mother. Could that really be true? Could Bart have done such a thing? Chuck asked his PI, Andrew Tyler, to get to the bottom of it. And he did. Andrew gave Chuck a tape with footage on it from the night of the blaze. It was of Bart arguing with Avery Thorpe who then went into the Kinberg building right before it went up in the flames. AHHHH!

Charlie went all the way to Brooklyn to apologize to Dan for recording him and Blair at the party. She told him it was Vanessa who had been the one to spill the beans to S about the kiss in the first place. That damn Vanessa! Dan was pissed. Especially since he was considering forgiving V for all her wrong doings. But that was definitely not going to happen now. Thank god! Anyway, Charlie’s one smart Florida cookie and she was pretty sure Dan still had feelings for Blair. And well, D couldn’t deny it. Aw? Dan invited Charlie to hang out for the night. Hmm. Could these two become kissing step-cousins? We shall see.

Blair assured Louis there was absolutely nothing going on between her and Dan. She wanted to be with Louis. And only Louis. Louis was elated. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him to be with a commoner and he needed to know Blair was serious before taking such a big risk. And with that, the two decided to go public. They stepped out of his limo and kissed in front of the paparazzi. It was truly magical. Though unbeknownst to them, Serena made a call. To Jean-Michel, Louis’ driver from the summer. Hmm. What does it all mean?!?

Wow. Blair and a prince. Did you ever expect anything else from her? Blair might not be a princess by blood but she’s surely a princess by society’s standards. Could she be the next Grace Kelly? Oh god, I hope so. Throw away the headband, B. Looks like a crown could be coming your way…

xoxo