Out With A Bang

Wowza. Our favorites sure brought the drama. And it was awesome. I seriously couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. And I don’t. Ever. I never report anything without proof. Remember: behind every rumor is some kind of truth. I promise 

Blair was MIA from the Constance/St. Jude’s gala. Where could she be? Chuck was looking all over the party. Had Eleanor seen her? Dan? Anyone?! Unfortunately for him, no one had any idea where she was. So Chuck went to the Empire with Nate. Perhaps B was there? But alas, no. Yikes. Though Nate filled Chuck in on the fact that he’d told Raina the truth about her father. You know, how Russell Thorpe, and not Bart Bass, had been the one who started the Kinberg building fire causing the death of Raina’s mother. Chuck was livid. Nate wasn’t supposed to do that! FAIL, N! But then Chuck got a call. From Blair. But it wasn’t a regular old ‘hey, what’s up?’ kind of call. Instead, Blair wanted Chuck to hear her talking to Russell about how he’d tricked her into coming to Chuck’s new hotel and now wouldn’t let her leave. It was Blair’s SOS and with that, Chuck was off to Brooklyn the fastest he’s ever gone to Brooklyn before.

In the building, Russell had Blair trapped. She didn’t understand. What was he doing with her? So Russell updated B on his plan: he’d turned the gas on and was going to burn the building down. With Blair in it. Just like before. Chuck took away the only thing Russell loved and now Russell was going to take away the only thing Chuck loved. Tit for tat, I guess. Blair pleaded with him. There was hope for Russell. He could find himself out of this darkness, like she had once done for herself. But sadly Russell was set on his pyro ways. Nice try, B. Though before Russell could set the place on fire, in stormed Chuck, Nate and Raina. Raina told her father not to do it. She forgave him. For everything. And well, that was all Russell had to hear to hand over the lighter. Too bad for him, though, Raina was totally playing her dad! She definitely did not forgive him. I mean, hello he murdered her mom! Anyway, Russell was going away for a long time and she wasn’t gonna be visiting him in the slammer. Ever. Woo hoo! You tell him!

Phew! Blair was saved. But she was pretty shaken up. Ya think? Perhaps Chuck could buy Blair a drink, help calm her nerves before she returned to the gala and to her prince. Blair agreed to just one drink. For old time’s sake. But when they went to the Oak Room there was a Bar Mitzvah taking place. And instead of heading to another bar, B and C decided to take part in the festivities. From the hora to the hamotzi, the pair danced and spread the mazel. L’chaim! But dancing’s not the only thing those two did. Blair and Chuck ended up finding a room and well, getting it on. Suppose dancing turned them on? Hotttt!

After shtupping C at the Bar Mitzvah, Blair decided to tell Louis it was over. She loved Louis but not the way she loved Chuck. Even though what she had with Louis’ light and happy, she and Chuck are a great love. It’s complicated, intense. It’s always going to pull them back in to one another. You can’t fight that, right?
So Blair and Chuck returned to the Constance/St. Jude’s gala. And there Louis was. Yep, still waiting. Poor Prince. Geez. Blair was ready to tell him they were over when Chuck stepped in and declared that they had his blessing. Chuck couldn’t be happier that the two of them were getting married. Wait, whaaaaaaat?

Blair was confused. Like the rest of us. Why did Chuck do that?! She thought they had decided on what they were going to do. They had the great love, albeit crazy love, they were meant to be. Chuck told B there’s a difference between a great love and a right love. Chuck left the Empire State Building two minutes after Blair didn’t show last year. And here was Louis waiting all night for Blair’s return. Blair deserved that kind of man, that kind of happiness. Damn it, Chuck, you’re so right! Blair and Chuck knew they’d always love one another. No matter what. And with that, Blair went off. To her prince. Fairy tale come true?

Okay, so you think all THAT’S wild and exciting? Just wait! While all the B/C dramz was going down, there were lots of other happenings occurring. Yessss! Serena and Vanessa were not the best of friends, but they decided they had to work together to save Dan from an off-her-meds Charlie. Bottom line: that Charlie girl was bonkers without her pills. Rufus had told them that the last time Charlie went off her brain candy, she was found walking around barefoot in the snow. Vanessa reminded her that Rufus also said she’d single white femaled her roommate (so I guess that’s not just an UES phenomenon). Anyway, when they arrived at the Constance/St. Jude’s gala, Dan was there but Charlie was nowhere in sight. Uh oh. Where could she be???

And what would you know? Guess who happened to be at the gala, too? Why, Georgina Sparks. She was there with her husband. Um, weird much? Georgina could tell the gang was up to something. And she was just dying to be included in whatever they were doing. Her life was sooooo boring. Being a mom, being a wife, blah. A scheme was just what she needed. Obviously, no one wanted Georgina involved. That would certainly complicate things. Sorry, Sparks.

Upstairs, Serena found Charlie in front of an open window and it looked like she was going to jump. YIKES! Serena tried to talk her cousin down. But Charlie stood her ground. Everyone thought she was crazy. Dan didn’t like her. She would never be like Serena. So Serena asked: Why would Charlie want to be like her? Being Serena van der Woodsen wasn’t as great as everyone thought it was. For example, Serena had run into Headmistress Queller earlier in the night. Queller was a bit upset to learn that Serena wasn’t at Brown. She always thought Serena was going to leave the city and find her place somewhere far away from this crazy UES world. But look at where Serena was now. In the city. Being the same old S. Stuck. Serena realized she hadn’t really made any choices. She didn’t choose her college, she didn’t even choose between Dan and Nate. Serena’s never made any of her own decisions because she’s never wanted to hurt anyone. But all she’s done is hurt herself. And now she’s all alone. Boo hoo. Serena didn’t understand why anyone, let alone Charlie, would want to be her. (Um, what about that hair, legs, wardrobe but I guess that’s besides the point). Luckily, Serena’s words got through to Charlie and she finally got off the ledge. Sigh of relief…

Charlie called her mom. Time to update her on the hell she’s raised? Well, kind of. Though instead of filling her mom in she just said that it all went perfectly. WHAAAAT? Georgina approached Charlie and told her she didn’t think she was ever on meds to begin with. Takes one to know one? Georgina knew there was something up with Charlie but she wasn’t going to tattle. She figured she was probably being shipped off somewhere soon. Aren’t they always? So Georgina gave Charlie her number. If she’s ever back in the city, she should give Georgina a call. It’s been getting a bit dull around the UES. Uh oh.

Meanwhile, Vanessa had left the gala and gone to the loft to see if Charlie was there. She obviously wasn’t since she was hanging out windows instead. But Vanessa found something intriguing. It was a manuscript called Inside that Dan had written. And Vanessa being all nosey read it. And it wasn’t just good. It was great. So she called Dan and told him. Dan couldn’t believe it. What the hell, Vanessa? Stay out of people’s stuff! Though Vanessa didn’t care because the manuscript was seriously the best satire of the UES since Bonfire of the Vanities. Dan couldn’t resist the compliments. But there was no way he could ever publish it. Everyone would hate him, especially friends and fam. Vanessa thought no one in the book looked worse than Dan himself. He seemed like he wanted in the whole time. Even more so than Jenny. Wow. That’s a lot then. Dan said he still couldn’t show the book to anyone. He’d be an outsider forever. Vanessa thought that the only way to be a true artist was to be an outsider. You can’t make good art when you’re on the inside. Dan needed to take a stand. Be a brave man. However, Dan wasn’t budging. His allegiances were with the UES. Vanessa couldn’t believe it. Didn’t Dan realize that he was a better person before he met Serena four years ago. Oh no she didn’t!? And that’s when Dan told Vanessa that he thought his life was better before she climbed up his fire escape four years ago. Ouch! Goodbye!

Three weeks later with the drama beginning to die down, everyone was making their summer plans. Looked like Lily was going to be staying in the apartment all summer. Being under house arrest’s so much fun! Sense the sarcasm? Though, it’s better than the punishment Russell was looking at. The papers were saying he could face up to twenty years. Daaaaamn!

Chuck was pretty upset over everything that happened with Blair. So Nate had an idea. Since Raina had gone back to Chicago, it looked like he and Chuck were bachelors once again. At the same time. When does that ever happen?! Maybe they could have a “Lost Summer.” Pick a place on the globe and work their way back to the city. Ooh, I like. And with that, Chuck and Nate spun the globe. No idea where it landed but dying to find out!!! Have fun, guys. Be safe. I am totally jealous.

With Lily under house arrest and Rufus producing Panic’s new album, the Hamptons house was also free. Dan thought it’d be a good idea to head there and have a nice, relaxing summer. And Eric could join him. Perhaps they could have their own step-bromance? Which will probably include a lot of Netflix watching, swimming and chasing the ice cream truck. But to each his own?

Though little did Dan know that Vanessa went behind his back to a publisher. With Dan’s book, Inside. The publisher loved it and wanted to publish it. OMG! While it would be published under “Anonymous,” Vanessa just knew the real author would come forward to take credit once it got big. But as for now, she’d be the one collecting the money. And where should the publisher send the checks? To Barcelona. Adios for reals, V? Who knows? That one’s a tease…

Meanwhile our favorite besties were going to spend the summer apart. Blair was off to Monaco to be with Louis. So romantic! Perhaps she and the prince would be having a November wedding? Ahh!! Please invite me!! While Blair was surely going to be having a very public summer, Serena was going to lay low in Montecito with CeCe. Stay off the radar. No bars, no boys. Serena knew she needed to make a choice and she finally had. She was choosing herself. Good for you, S. I’m proud. Really!

While in Montecito, Serena walked by a very cute guy reading The Beautiful and Damned. That’s S’ favorite book in case you’ve just started reading my blog like yesterday. Serena was surprised to find someone reading the book for fun. People in California only seemed to read books so they could turn them into movies. And that’s when Serena realized this cute guy was doing just that. Oops. But she could be of some assistance. Since she knew the book like the back of her hand, she could help with his task to do a scene by scene analysis comparing the book to the script. But before they could get to work, the guy’s boss arrived. And it was director David O. Russell. As in Academy Award nominated, as in directed The Fighter, Three Kings. Yeah, big deal. Anyway, David (bc we’re on a first name basis natch) was angry at his employee for not doing his work. Maybe this beautiful girl who actually read the book should take over the assignment. As well as the job. Wait, hold up. S got a job?!? With a famous director. Dying!

You’re probably wondering what happened to crazy cousin Charlie. I mean, just cousin Charlie. Well, she headed back to Florida on a bus. The city wasn’t the best place for her. But maybe she could come back one day? (When she’s sane perhaps?) Charlie got off the bus in Miami and Carol was waiting for her. And that’s when Charlie handed her a bag full of checks from the Rhodes Trust. Huh? And then Carol called Charlie… wait for it… Ivy. Double huh? Turns out, Carol had hired this rando girl and gave her money to impersonate her daughter. Whoa! Carol had to do it so her family would never come looking for her actual daughter. WTF?!?!?! As Charlie or Ivy or whatever her name is parted ways with Carol, she took out Georgina’s number. OMG what does that mean? Who exactly is this girl? So many freaking questions!

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any crazier, they did. But what did you expect? This is the UES! In the bathroom shared by Blair and Serena, there was a pregnancy test in the garbage. And it was, omg are you effing ready?, positive. WTF? Someone’s preggers????????????????????

Isn’t it awesome that our UESers never, ever let us down in the drama department. You guys really are the best. To my faves: I hope you enjoy your summers. Please get some R&R because surely you all deserve it. Plus, this way you’ll be prepared for fall. And I’m guessing by then you’ll be ready to shake things up once again. 

You know I love you all,

xoxo

From Well to Hell

I can barely keep track of all that went down on the UES. It was like an avalanche of drama. Unfortunately, now we’re left dealing with the aftermath. And it’s really messy.

Blair was determined to make it up to Louis’ mother, Princess Sophie, for the unfortunate incident at the embassy party. You know, the one where Chuck showed up loaded and caused a scene? Well, now it looked like Blair had a lot of kissing up to do. Blair assured Louis’ mother that the Chuck problem was just a little blip. Those two were 100% over. Never talking again. Scout’s honor! Though, unbeknownst to Blair, Princess Sophie had had her followed. And where was the first place B had gone to after Louis proposed? Why, to Chuck’s. Princess Sophie thought that was an abomination. Here Louis was giving up his accession rights to be with Blair yet Blair was not giving up any of her old habits to be with Louis… Uh oh, B. You’re in trouble.

Things only got worse when Blair spotted, are you sitting down?, Jack Bass on the UES. WTF was he doing back in town?! Luckily, I have the inside dish: Raina called him! She filled Jack in on how her mother was killed in the Kinberg building fire (that Bart started!) and explained she wanted revenge. It was time that motherchucker went down. Of course, Uncle Jack couldn’t resist a Chuck Bass takedown so he was onboard. Wow, family dysfunction to the max. Jack met with Russell to see what they could do to destroy Chuck. Jack said there was only one thing his nephew actually cared about: losing Blair. Hmm. Jack told Russell that it seemed like Chuck was on the edge as is, perhaps all he needed was a push. Eek. Watch your back, Chuck!

So anyway, the minute Blair spotted Jack there was only one place she could go: back to see Chuck. But this time in Brooklyn. No, that’s not a typo. Chuck Bass had decided to open a new hotel in the 718. I know, how un-Chuck Bass like. Guess you gotta take risks in business or something? Blair informed Chuck of what she saw. Jack Bass was here in NYC. But that was all she had to say to Chuck. As for everything else between them, there was nothing more to discuss. However, it was too bad for B because Louis followed her to Brooklyn. Ack! It was one thing to hear his mother tell him about Blair sneaking off to be with Chuck but it was another to see it with his own eyes. So Louis went to talk to Chuck. He told him to stop pursuing his fiancé. Just leave them alone already. But Chuck was Chuck and didn’t succumb to Louis’ threats. Chuck said that Blair was nothing without her secrets. If Louis were to marry Blair, he’d have a lifetime of doubting her. Yikes!

After Louis left, Jack showed up to see Chuck. And well, that had trouble written all over it, obvi. Chuck was kind of drunk and the two ended up fighting about the past. Chuck even punched his uncle! Then Nate arrived, wanting to help Chuck, but it seemed like C was beyond help. Which is when orderlies showed up, ready to take Chuck to rehab. OMFG! Chuck Bass in rehab?!

Meanwhile, Dan and Charlie were spending a whole lot of time together. And this time, together included kissing. Scandalous, I know. Dan even invited her to Blair’s engagement party (that Eleanor and Cyrus were throwing) as well as the Constance/St Jude’s alumni gala. Um, does that make things official? I’m not quite sure. Charlie was really worried about this big night out with Dan. She had nothing to wear and no money to buy a new dress! But that’s when her fairy god-cousin Serena stepped in. As CeCe’s granddaughter, there was a trust fund for all the Rhodes grandchildren. Perhaps they needed to call CeCe and get Charlie’s trust checkbook. She was an adult now, right? Though Charlie was being pretty irresponsible when it came to taking her meds aka she wasn’t taking them at all. And Rufus was a bit worried. Aunt Carol had cautioned about the side effects of skipping her prescription. So Rufus got her a refill. What a good uncle! But instead of popping the pills, Charlie dumped them. In the trash. AH!

At Blair’s engagement party, Cyrus and Eleanor were ready to impress Princess Sophie. Fortunately, Cyrus is a schmoozer and had a shared interest with Louis’ mom: they both studied birds. Boring, yes. But a good common ground! And of course, Cyrus was able to win over Sophie. What a mensch! Perhaps Sophie was wrong about Blair. Maybe there was something she could do to reinstate Louis after all. AHHHHH!!! A little Cyrus charm and Blair and Louis could make their very first royal appearance together at the Constance/St. Jude’s alumna gala. OMG Blair’s totally in!! But when Louis showed up, he did not seem happy. He needed to talk to Blair. Alone. He knew about her seeing Chuck. Both times. What the hell was up? Blair told him the reason she didn’t tell him the truth was because she thought he’d think more of it than it really was. Which was nothing. The thing was that Blair has her own dark side. One she’s afraid to show Louis. But it seemed like Louis didn’t care. He wanted to see all parts of Blair. Even the ones she’s ashamed of. He told her if she’s not ready to share her whole life with him then they shouldn’t go to the gala later. He would go and wait for her. If she didn’t show up then he’d know her answer. OMG what will B do? Dying!

Serena also showed up at the engagement party. She wasn’t going to go since she and Blair were fighting but Rufus urged her to attend. And luckily for her, she and B quickly made up. Phew! But Serena was in for a huge surprise when Charlie arrived. Charlie was dressed almost identical to how Serena looked at her cotillion ball three years ago. Same dress, same hair, same everything! Serena was alarmed. This was freaky. What was Charlie doing? Why was she wearing her dress? WTH? Charlie argued that it wasn’t Serena’s dress. It might have looked like it but it definitely wasn’t the same. Serena grew more annoyed and demanded to see the tag! There was no way that wasn’t from her closet. Dan stepped in. Serena was going overboard and acting crazy. Leave Charlie alone. And with that Dan left with Charlie on his arm. Talk about where your loyalty lies, geez.

Dan and Charlie headed straight to the Constance/St. Jude’s gala. And even ran into some old faves. Like Kati and Is! Blast from the freaking past. Dan thought nothing had changed for him. Here he was, two years older, and still an outsider. Oh well. But Charlie decided Dan had to live a little. Do something dangerous and make some new high school memories. So the two of them snuck into Headmistress Queller’s office and started fooling around. It got hotttt, if I do say so myself. But then things got uber weird when Charile told Dan to call her, OMG, Serena. HOLD UP! Dan was totally taken aback (as he should be) and said they needed to stop. GAH WTF?

With Charlie acting totally weird, Serena finally decided to listen to Vanessa. Vanessa had called her wanting to discuss this little cousin of hers. After what had happened with Charlie lying to Dan about Vanessa trying to sabotage Rufus’ dinner, Vanessa had a sneaking suspicion this Charlie was trouble. And when Vanessa arrived to talk to S, Rufus showed them both Charlie’s empty pill bottle he found. Then he let them both in on the info about Charlie’s meds. Last time she went off them, things ended very badly. Oh god, scared!

You’re probably wondering about Chuck’s rehab stint. Well, that ended up being a total sham. As it just so happened, the Chuck intervention was just for show. Whaaat? Chuck, Jack and Nate were all working together. Wow! As much as Jack liked to screw with his nephew, he didn’t like being used to mess with him. Especially considering it seemed like Russell had an ulterior motive to his madness. He was dead-set on getting the tape with the footage of the Kinberg fire from Chuck’s suite. Which didn’t make much sense. Because all the tape proved was that Bart was guilty and well, you can’t send a dead man to jail. So of course that wasn’t the real reason Russell wanted it. The real reason was because it showed Russell locking up the building. After Bart had already left. Which meant that Russell started the fire, not Bart. WHOA! Russell said he thought Bart was in the building. Not his wife. And that letter Andrew Tyler had found was actually from Avery to Russell. She was dumping his ass for Bass. Ouch. Russell pleaded with Chuck, Jack and Nate not to tell Raina the truth. Chuck could have Thorpe Enterprises. He could have it all. As long as Raina didn’t find out what he had actually done to her mother. Hmm…  But Chuck promised to keep the secret just between them as long as Russell left town for good…

So Jack and Chuck kind of reconciled. Or reconciled as much as those two ever could. Aw? But Raina was still pissed. In her mind Chuck Bass got away with it once again. He needed to pay. Nate tried to defend his BFF but Raina was livid. Chuck’s father killed her mother! Justice still had to be served. And that’s when Nate decided to reveal the truth: Chuck’s dad didn’t killed Raina’s mother. Raina’s father did. Raina was heartbroken. All these years, all these lies. So when she talked to her father she told him she knew the whole story. Russell was as dead to her as her mother was. Eek! Harsh! And of course Russell just assumed Chuck went back on his promise…

Blair arrived at the Constance/St. Jude’s gala. OMG does this mean she wanted Louis and only Louis? Yes! But then she got an emergency phone call. Saying Chuck was on the roof of his new hotel threatening to jump. Blair had to leave ASAP. She spotted Charlie and told her to tell Louis she’d be right back. Keep him there. But guess who also came to the gala? Chuck, duh. He was there to whisk Blair off her feet. But wait, if Chuck was at the gala and not on the roof, who called Blair?!?

When Blair showed up at the hotel, she went to the roof but no one was there. Well, no one until out of the shadows came Russell Thorpe. OMFG!!!!!!!!!

I am literally on the edge of my desk chair. Biting my nails. Practically pulling my hair out. I’m soooooo nervous. Save Blair! Someone! 

xoxo

Spotted!

Spotted: B and Louis dining at Daniel. Candlelight, hand holding, the whole nine yards. Romantic. D and Charlie seeing The Book of Mormon at the Eugene O’Neill Theatre. I should’ve put money on what Broadway show they’d go see together because then I’d be rich. So typical. S going on a shopping spree at Barneys. The reason? Um, it’s May? C drinking alone at the bar at The Empire. I hear he hasn’t moved from that seat in days. N and his lacrosse team playing Trinity College. N scored two goals and Columbia won. Woo hoo!

xoxo

Kissing Cousins?

Okay, so the above headline is how rumors get started. Because right now I have no real, hard proof that Dan and Charlie are dating. Buuuuuut I do have real, hard proof that they’ve been spending a lot of time together. With no one else with them. It’d be one thing if Dan and Charlie were hanging out with Eric or Serena in tow. But that’s not the case. Dan and Charlie have been spotted totally alone. In just the company of themselves. From Brooklyn coffee shops to village bookstores to LES movie theatres, these two have been up to typical Dan Humphrey activities. Gross. Why does Dan have this power over the women in his life? I just don’t get it. But nonetheless, it looks like Charlie’s under the Dan Humphrey spell. And she actually seems to be enjoying it. Gag me.

xoxo

Kissing Cousins?

Because right now I have no real, hard proof that Dan and Charlie are dating. Buuuuuut I do have real, hard proof that they’ve been spending a lot of time together. With no one else with them. It’d be one thing if Dan and Charlie were hanging out with Eric or Serena in tow. But that’s not the case. Dan and Charlie have been spotted totally alone. In just the company of themselves. From Brooklyn coffee shops to village bookstores to LES movie theatres, these two have been up to typical Dan Humphrey activities. Gross. Why does Dan have this power over the women in his life? I just don’t get it. But nonetheless, it looks like Charlie’s under the Dan Humphrey spell. And she actually seems to be enjoying it. Gag me.

xoxo

From the New York Obsever

Queen of New York

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. One of our very own UESers engaged? To be married. To a prince. Shut the front door! Beyond jealous. Seething with envy. Coveting her life. Dying. But let me rewind a bit and fill you in on how it all went down!

Unless you’re allergic to the internet or to NYC newspapers, then you know all about Blair and Louis. How they’ve been spending hours and hours together, traipsing around the city as if they were joined at the hip. From premieres to gallery openings, these two were making the most of their new relationship. Blair even went to a pub, a pub!, to watch a soccer game (AND she drank beer!). There was no denying it. Blair and Louis were totally into each other. Unfortunately, Louis’ parents did not approve of the pairing. And when Louis’ mother, Princess Sophie, showed up in the city unexpectedly she rained on their love parade. Louis could absolutely, positively not be with Blair. Blair was just a commoner (um, rude, this is Blair Waldorf for goodness sake!). But that wasn’t the only problem. According to Princess Sophie, Louis was already engaged to someone else. Excusez-moi? Blair could not believe this! That two timing prince!

Louis apologized to Blair for the big shock. The truth was that his parents thought he should be married before he took the throne. So they were intent on finding him a proper wife ASAP. And they had some options ready for him. Royal options, natch. Though Louis had an idea. Even though Blair wasn’t royalty maybe she could still stand a chance. Louis’ mother was flying in her top ten choices for wives for a party. Maybe there was a way for Blair to be on his mother’s guest list as well. Because truthfully, Louis did not care for the other girls. He wanted Blair. He connected with her. Aww. Melting. In order to make the cut to tonight’s party, all Blair had to do was wow Sophie at tea and win her approval. Then Blair and Louis could live happily ever after.

But little did Blair know she had someone working against her. Her very own BFF, Serena. Yep, you read that right. Serena pretended to be okay with fact that Blair had kissed Dan. But in reality she was livid. If S had ever kissed Chuck, she’d be six feet under. So it was Serena who had been in touch with Princess Sophie about Louis’ whereabouts and doings. Bitchy BFF!

Blair met up with Sophie for tea and was prepared to woo the princess. Though B was surprised when Sophie pulled out some very incriminating information about her: posts from this very blog. Oh, they went back pretty far. Dancing in a burlesque show. Pregnancy scare. Getting traded for a hotel. Glad to see my archives in use! Anyway, Blair pleaded with the Princess that she had changed. And all she wanted was Louis. Perhaps B could make it up to her that night at the party. Prove to her the kind of royal lady she really was…

Meanwhile, Dan was hanging out a lot with his new friend/step-cousin/cousin through marriage/who the f knows, Charlie. Though it was obvious Charlie wanted more. Especially after Vanessa caught her reading a book about turning your friend into a boyfriend. Ooh la la. Vanessa told Charlie she wanted to help her. She had recently gotten a scholarship to study abroad so she’d be leaving NY. And the thought of Dan falling into the arms of Blair or Serena terrified her. But Vanessa thought Charlie seemed okay. So maybe V could help the lesser of all the evils win over Dan. That way he wouldn’t end up with one of V’s enemies.

But after some wise words of warning from his father, Dan started to pull away. He liked Charlie but he wasn’t looking for a relationship. And he thought she should know. Ouch!  Charlie told him she wasn’t looking for a relationship either (liar!). She just wanted to be friends (suuuure). Though when she heard Rufus was hosting some business clients at the loft with Dan and Eric, Charlie jumped right in and offered to cook pizza for everybody. Turns out, an old friend called Rufus to see if he’d be interested in producing a new indie band’s album. Rufus was pumped. Fabulous news! No more butlering or playing house husband, this could be a real gig. And Rufus’s dinner at the loft was supposed to show these indie kids that Rufus may live on the UES, but his heart was still in Brooklyn.

Unfortunately, when Dan, Eric and Rufus showed up to the loft there wasn’t any pizza or paper plates. Instead, Charlie had arranged a candlelit dinner catered by Per Se. Not exactly what Rufus had in mind. Indie rockers eating foie gras? Never! This was a disaster. Looked like Charlie had blown it!

Charlie was totally upset. She told Dan that she only threw the fancy party because Vanessa told her to do it. Ugh, that Vanessa! But what Dan didn’t know was that Charlie was totally lying. The truth was Vanessa had told her to throw a nice, low key party suitable to men who wear skinny jeans. Sneaky! But Charlie had the last laugh. Because now Dan thought Vanessa had sabotaged once again and Charlie got to be the damsel in distress. Seemed like V would be leaving town as the villain everyone thought she was. MWAHAHA. Charlie said she’d take good care of Dan while Vanessa’s gone. Ooh, was definitely not expecting that side of Charlie at all.

Luckily for Rufus, he was able to save the day with the band. NY pizza never fails. And Rufus totally got the job! You go, Mr. Humphrey.

In the Chuck of it all, he was depressed. About what? You name it. The fire at the Kinberg building, Blair being photographed all over town with a prince, etc. Things were bad. And it wasn’t helping that Raina was intent on finding her mother. Nate tried to avoid the subject since he knew what might be the truth: that Raina’s mother had died in a fire that Bart supposedly set. Yet Chuck was still holding on to the fact that maybe his dad was innocent. But then Andrew Tyler gave Chuck a letter he found. It was from Avery Thorpe to Bart. She was calling off their affair. Aha! Bart and Avery were fooling around behind Russell’s back. And from the looks of the letter, she was planning on ending things to go back to her husband. Did somebody say motive? Bart the jealous and jilted lover… Chuck couldn’t believe it. His father really was a murderer??

Even though Chuck forbid Nate to tell Raina the truth about her mother, Nate did so anyway. She deserved to know that her mother was dead. Raina was extremely sad. Though now she understood why her father wanted to take down Bass Industries. It was obvious Chuck was just like his dad. While Nate tried to defend his friend, Raina didn’t want to hear it. She gave Nate an ultimatum: it was either her or Chuck. AH! Who do you choose??

At Louis’ pick-your-princess embassy party, Blair was ready to shine. She knew how to do everything and who everyone was (thanks to Dorota for the quizzing!). And Louis’ mother actually seemed impressed. Well that was until Chuck showed up. Oh crap. Chuck had heard from Nate about just how serious Blair and Louis were. And that wasn’t going to fly with him. Chuck even brought the diamond ring (you know, the one he had on him when he was shot in Prague). What should have been some grand romantic gesture turned into a drunken embarrassment. Chuck was waaaasted and made a complete fool of himself. And Blair. Chuck went on and on about how the two of them belonged together. Blair begged him to get out of there but he wouldn’t listen. Chuck just knew that Blair still loved him. She had to, right? But before she could answer, security escorted him out. See ya, Basstard.

After the party, Blair was upset. Duh. Serena tried to comfort her. She told her BFF she kind of felt bad for Chuck. Blair could not believe it! What was Serena’s problem? She knew that it was S who gave Sophie the posts. But why was Serena also taking Chuck’s side? Chuck had brought her into the darkness for so long, now Blair wanted light. She wanted Louis! Fortunately for B, Louis overheard her. And he wanted Blair just as much. Louis didn’t care about his family’s approval. If Blair was willing to fight for her joy, he would fight for his. There was no point of being head of state if he couldn’t follow his heart. Louis said he’d give up the throne if it meant he could have Blair. And with that, Louis proposed to her. OMFG!!!

Blair went over to see Chuck. He was real drunk and mumbling things like he needed her more than he’s ever needed her before. But Blair didn’t want to hear any of it. She told him Louis had proposed. Chuck was livid. Blair was his! And then Chuck got waaaaay scary and even punched a window. And the glass hit Blair and made her bleed. YIKES x a million!

After seeing the Chuck outburst, Nate told Raina he chose her. WHOA! And then Raina called, are you sitting down?, Jack Bass! And it seems like he might be on his way to the UES…

Oh no! Uncle Bass swimming upstream to the UES? Eek. His appearances always bring nothing but trouble. Hope you’re ready for some drama. I say bring it on!

xoxo

Spotted!

Spotted: B with Louis at The Abbey Pub for the Monaco vs Paris Saint-Germain match. B in a pub watching a soccer game? Oh, Louis, you bring out a new side of the girl. S and E stocking up on magazines at Barnes & Noble. Guessing they’re probably for house arrest mom. What great kids! D with, I think, cousin Charlie. They were eating at John’s Pizza on Bleecker. New friends/step-cousins? Whatever. N studying in the Columbia library. Whoa! Good for him! MIA: C, duh.

xoxo