Let me ask this question: has there ever not been a scandal at a fashion show? Yeah, I didn’t think so. It seems like whenever our favorite UESers gather together for a night of high fashion it soon turns into a night of high drama. Luckily all of us got front row seats to the show of the year.
Blair’s paternity test results were in! But Blair was being a scaredy cat and couldn’t face the truth. Another day perhaps? Dorota was worried about her little kochanie so she enlisted the help of the only other person who knew Blair was pregnant: Dan. Dan being Dan was more than happy to butt in and take matters into his own hands. He even picked up the paternity test results (sealed of course) from the doctor’s office. Yet Blair couldn’t be bothered with that nuisance at the moment. She had bigger fish to fry like an interview with Hello Magazine. One could not receive such huge and life-altering news before such an important interview. Blair would end up sounding ruffled, not regal! Therefore, she would wait!
The interviewer asked Blair about when she and Louis were planning on starting a family. Blair was caught a bit off guard but kept herself composed and gave a trés vague response. But then the women let B in on what Louis’ answer was to the same question. He didn’t want children right away. He wasn’t ready to be a father just yet. Oh crap! Things only got worse for B when she saw Chuck, on this very site, returning the dog Dan got for him to the pound. FYI Dan got C a dog in hopes that a puppy could make him finally feel something – because whoever can’t feel something around an adorable dog is obviously messed up. Anyway, now it looked like B had the possibility of 2 bad dads on her hands. This was terrible news! Blair tore up the envelope with the test results. Because that solves things, I guess?
When he wasn’t trying to help Blair, Dan was dealing with his own bit of troubles. He had finally found out who was going to publish his book (thanks, Chuck!). Luckily, his old mentor Noah Shapiro had that very publisher as well. So Dan went to see Noah and asked how he could go about getting this pesky book killed once and for all. Noah could not believe his ears. What a coward this Humphrey truly was! Although, it didn’t even matter. The best thing Dan could do in order for this novel to die a fast death was to do nothing at all. The book wasn’t about vampires or written by a Fox News pundit so it’d probably get lost and just fade away on its own. Why would anyone care about some random book by a random author anyway?
After getting a tip (much gratitude to my loyal readers!), I sent out a blast about this new Upper East Side tell-all. Dan was shocked. That Noah blabbed to someone! He stormed back to his former mentor’s office to tell him to keep his mouth shut. But Noah wasn’t there. Instead, Alessandra, Noah’s agent, was. She told Dan that Noah was busy with his super secret new book that he was releasing. He’d only just told Alessandra about it. Then Alessandra showed Dan the book. And what would you know, it was Inside, Dan’s book. OMG Noah stole his novel!! WTF?
Meanwhile, Charlie was back in New York. For better or worse. She didn’t tell Carol where she was so her fake mom was calling her constantly. And she definitely wasn’t picking up. So, Carol got in touch with her sister. Had Lily heard from Charlie? Lily was concerned about this mother-daughter drama. Surely this wasn’t something she and Serena needed to be in the middle of (I mean, hello they have their own issues!). Also, Lily was worried about Charlie’s well being. Was there a chance Charlie could go all May 2011 again? Too bad, Charlie overheard the convo. Maybe New York wasn’t the place for her after all. Back to LA she would go! Serena tried to convince her cousin otherwise, but Charlie had already made up her mind. Sad? Serena asked her if she could do one last thing before she left the city: return her tickets to the Jenny Packham fashion show that night. Charlie agreed to it. It was the least she could do. But when Charlie got to the venue, the woman there told her she’d be walking the show. Wait, what? Turned out, Serena had made a call. Sneaky, S! From errand runner to catwalk strutter? Charlie was going to say no to the show – until she saw the dress she would be wearing. Um, it was beautiful and beyond anything she’d ever worn in her life. Perhaps Charlie could have one last Cindrella moment before fleeing the ball for good?
And in a change of pace, some good news came out of the UES for once. Rufus got Lily off of house arrest. Thank goodness! No more Netflix streaming, Bluefly shopping or Kindle reading. It was time to the see the world, smell the New York City air, and go to the Jenny Packham fashion show! Hallelujah!
The fashion show was being sponsored by The New York Spectator, where Nate was now working. He had just started his internship there. Aww, our hottie’s growing up. As boss, Diana was cleaning house. She wanted to start anew which meant firing all the people who already worked there. It was time to make this the paper for hip and cool people. Not those who were geriatric and out of touch. So it only made sense to back the ultra trendy fashion show. Though Nate was beginning to feel used. He didn’t really have a place at the company. Well, except to bang Diana when she wanted to bang. Poor N. Diana pleaded with him that he really did have a function. In fact, she wanted him to interview a Congressman at the fashion show that could definitely be a great story. Nate’s first assignment? Cute!
At the fashion show, Nate interviewed the politician and asked the questions Diana told him to ask. Like how was his trip to Mykonos? And that’s when his wife freaked out. Mykonos? WTF? He was obviously cheating on her. It was time for a divorce. Whoa! Nate was shocked. Diana set him up! Why would she do that? Diana admitted the truth. She wasn’t interested in interviews with the elite. The Spectator was not some Huffington Post rip off. No, Diana wanted the secrets and scandals of New York’s elite. Um, hello? I kind of came up with that years ago, lady. Besides, my site doesn’t create scandal. I just whisper what’s already out there. And really, you’re welcome. But it seemed like Diana didn’t care. She was out to make something new. And then Nate then accidentally came up with a great idea. They had had all the fashion show attendee’s phones checked in order to prevent Twitter spoilers. Perhaps the answer to all their gossip seeking was in the cell phones? Genius! So Nate and Diana went through all the Blackberries, iPhones, Androids, etc. (except for Nate’s friends’s phones – he took those out, good boy). I smell trouble!
But that’s not the only craziness that happened at the fashion show. Oh no, there was so much more! While Charlie was walking the deconstructed catwalk, shiz really hit the fan because Carol showed up! Charlie was stunned to see her fake mom there. Yikes. Carol told her it was time to pack her bags and get the ef out of New York. Bye, fake life, hello, real life. But Charlie realized that she didn’t need to be so scared of Carol because Charlie had some things she could hold over her head as well. Two can play this game. Charlie wanted to stay in NY and there was nothing Carol could do to stop her. Because really, what was Carol going to do? Call the police? Tell them she hired an aspiring actress to pose as her daughter just so she could get her family’s money? The authorities and the Rhodes would probably have a problem with that. Besides, the family that Carol hated had been nicer to Charlie than her real one ever was. If Carol tried to take Charlie down, she was coming down with her. WOW!!!
Okay, okay. And just when you thought that was bonkers, just wait. Dorota had called Dan and told him that Blair still hadn’t opened that darned envelope. It needed to get done! So Dan showed up at the fashion show and while B was walking, he tried to give her the taped up letter with the results. Of course, she didn’t want it. Though Dan was persistent. And then the two of them began to shove the envelope back and forth. Well, until B pushed D and he fell into a waiter. Crash. What a scene! <3 it!
Dan apologized to Blair. He shouldn’t have caused such a commotion. He really did understand why Blair was scared. Although, Lonely Boy had some good insight on the sitch. When the whole baby Milo and Georgina stuff happened to him last year, he wasn’t ready to be a father. But once he thought he was a dad he stepped up to the plate and did it. And wanted to do it. Louis or Chuck would obviously do the same. Probably? Thanks to Dan’s advice, Blair was ready and opened the letter. AHHHHHH!
Blair went to see Chuck. OMFG! She told him she was pregnant. OMFG again! And that Louis was the dad. OMFG what? Blair didn’t want Chuck to find out from someone else. Chuck was appreciative. Blair caught a glimpse of his dog. Wait. I thought he gave it away? Chuck told her the truth: he was actually just getting his pet fixed. How responsible! (And everyone should follow Chuck’s lead and do the same to their own animals!) But after Blair left, Chuck actually broke down and finally cried. Whoa. Guess he can feel once again? Good thing he has such a cute dog to comfort him.
When Blair told Louis that he was going to be a dad, the prince was ecstatic. Yay fatherhood! Blair was confused. What about the Hello Magazine interview and those unenthusiastic remarks about starting a family? Louis confessed he only said those things so that B wouldn’t be under constant baby watch by the crazy paparazzi. Oh, Louis. Truly a prince. Swoon.
After putting the Blair of it all to bed, Dan went to confront Noah who was at dinner with a bunch of literary heavyweights. Noah had stolen his book! Dan was actually the writer. How dare he? But Noah did something unexpected. He clapped, happily. Finally! Dan did the right thing by coming forward and admitting the reality. Destiny’s a scary thing to face and sometimes people need a push. And that’s just what Noah did. OMG Dan’s book is going to seriously come out! I cannot freaking believe it! Dying.
It looked like Charlie was staying in New York. And in Serena’s room, no less. Too bad, she couldn’t find her phone. Where was it? Oh, I know. Maybe with Nate and Diana? They had successfully returned all the phones they went through at the fashion show. And boy, did they find out some scandalous stuff. But they still had one phone whose owner they couldn’t locate. Someone named Ivy. Hmm…Who could that ever be?
Wow. Dan’s a published author. Chuck cried. Blair and Louis will be parents. And someone named Ivy is phone-less. Pretty eventful stuff on the UES. And for some reason, I have a feeling it’s only the beginning.
xoxo
Blair’s paternity test results were in! But Blair was being a scaredy cat and couldn’t face the truth. Another day perhaps? Dorota was worried about her little kochanie so she enlisted the help of the only other person who knew Blair was pregnant: Dan. Dan being Dan was more than happy to butt in and take matters into his own hands. He even picked up the paternity test results (sealed of course) from the doctor’s office. Yet Blair couldn’t be bothered with that nuisance at the moment. She had bigger fish to fry like an interview with Hello Magazine. One could not receive such huge and life-altering news before such an important interview. Blair would end up sounding ruffled, not regal! Therefore, she would wait!
The interviewer asked Blair about when she and Louis were planning on starting a family. Blair was caught a bit off guard but kept herself composed and gave a trés vague response. But then the women let B in on what Louis’ answer was to the same question. He didn’t want children right away. He wasn’t ready to be a father just yet. Oh crap! Things only got worse for B when she saw Chuck, on this very site, returning the dog Dan got for him to the pound. FYI Dan got C a dog in hopes that a puppy could make him finally feel something – because whoever can’t feel something around an adorable dog is obviously messed up. Anyway, now it looked like B had the possibility of 2 bad dads on her hands. This was terrible news! Blair tore up the envelope with the test results. Because that solves things, I guess?
When he wasn’t trying to help Blair, Dan was dealing with his own bit of troubles. He had finally found out who was going to publish his book (thanks, Chuck!). Luckily, his old mentor Noah Shapiro had that very publisher as well. So Dan went to see Noah and asked how he could go about getting this pesky book killed once and for all. Noah could not believe his ears. What a coward this Humphrey truly was! Although, it didn’t even matter. The best thing Dan could do in order for this novel to die a fast death was to do nothing at all. The book wasn’t about vampires or written by a Fox News pundit so it’d probably get lost and just fade away on its own. Why would anyone care about some random book by a random author anyway?
After getting a tip (much gratitude to my loyal readers!), I sent out a blast about this new Upper East Side tell-all. Dan was shocked. That Noah blabbed to someone! He stormed back to his former mentor’s office to tell him to keep his mouth shut. But Noah wasn’t there. Instead, Alessandra, Noah’s agent, was. She told Dan that Noah was busy with his super secret new book that he was releasing. He’d only just told Alessandra about it. Then Alessandra showed Dan the book. And what would you know, it was Inside, Dan’s book. OMG Noah stole his novel!! WTF?
Meanwhile, Charlie was back in New York. For better or worse. She didn’t tell Carol where she was so her fake mom was calling her constantly. And she definitely wasn’t picking up. So, Carol got in touch with her sister. Had Lily heard from Charlie? Lily was concerned about this mother-daughter drama. Surely this wasn’t something she and Serena needed to be in the middle of (I mean, hello they have their own issues!). Also, Lily was worried about Charlie’s well being. Was there a chance Charlie could go all May 2011 again? Too bad, Charlie overheard the convo. Maybe New York wasn’t the place for her after all. Back to LA she would go! Serena tried to convince her cousin otherwise, but Charlie had already made up her mind. Sad? Serena asked her if she could do one last thing before she left the city: return her tickets to the Jenny Packham fashion show that night. Charlie agreed to it. It was the least she could do. But when Charlie got to the venue, the woman there told her she’d be walking the show. Wait, what? Turned out, Serena had made a call. Sneaky, S! From errand runner to catwalk strutter? Charlie was going to say no to the show – until she saw the dress she would be wearing. Um, it was beautiful and beyond anything she’d ever worn in her life. Perhaps Charlie could have one last Cindrella moment before fleeing the ball for good?
And in a change of pace, some good news came out of the UES for once. Rufus got Lily off of house arrest. Thank goodness! No more Netflix streaming, Bluefly shopping or Kindle reading. It was time to the see the world, smell the New York City air, and go to the Jenny Packham fashion show! Hallelujah!
The fashion show was being sponsored by The New York Spectator, where Nate was now working. He had just started his internship there. Aww, our hottie’s growing up. As boss, Diana was cleaning house. She wanted to start anew which meant firing all the people who already worked there. It was time to make this the paper for hip and cool people. Not those who were geriatric and out of touch. So it only made sense to back the ultra trendy fashion show. Though Nate was beginning to feel used. He didn’t really have a place at the company. Well, except to bang Diana when she wanted to bang. Poor N. Diana pleaded with him that he really did have a function. In fact, she wanted him to interview a Congressman at the fashion show that could definitely be a great story. Nate’s first assignment? Cute!
At the fashion show, Nate interviewed the politician and asked the questions Diana told him to ask. Like how was his trip to Mykonos? And that’s when his wife freaked out. Mykonos? WTF? He was obviously cheating on her. It was time for a divorce. Whoa! Nate was shocked. Diana set him up! Why would she do that? Diana admitted the truth. She wasn’t interested in interviews with the elite. The Spectator was not some Huffington Post rip off. No, Diana wanted the secrets and scandals of New York’s elite. Um, hello? I kind of came up with that years ago, lady. Besides, my site doesn’t create scandal. I just whisper what’s already out there. And really, you’re welcome. But it seemed like Diana didn’t care. She was out to make something new. And then Nate then accidentally came up with a great idea. They had had all the fashion show attendee’s phones checked in order to prevent Twitter spoilers. Perhaps the answer to all their gossip seeking was in the cell phones? Genius! So Nate and Diana went through all the Blackberries, iPhones, Androids, etc. (except for Nate’s friends’s phones – he took those out, good boy). I smell trouble!
But that’s not the only craziness that happened at the fashion show. Oh no, there was so much more! While Charlie was walking the deconstructed catwalk, shiz really hit the fan because Carol showed up! Charlie was stunned to see her fake mom there. Yikes. Carol told her it was time to pack her bags and get the ef out of New York. Bye, fake life, hello, real life. But Charlie realized that she didn’t need to be so scared of Carol because Charlie had some things she could hold over her head as well. Two can play this game. Charlie wanted to stay in NY and there was nothing Carol could do to stop her. Because really, what was Carol going to do? Call the police? Tell them she hired an aspiring actress to pose as her daughter just so she could get her family’s money? The authorities and the Rhodes would probably have a problem with that. Besides, the family that Carol hated had been nicer to Charlie than her real one ever was. If Carol tried to take Charlie down, she was coming down with her. WOW!!!
Okay, okay. And just when you thought that was bonkers, just wait. Dorota had called Dan and told him that Blair still hadn’t opened that darned envelope. It needed to get done! So Dan showed up at the fashion show and while B was walking, he tried to give her the taped up letter with the results. Of course, she didn’t want it. Though Dan was persistent. And then the two of them began to shove the envelope back and forth. Well, until B pushed D and he fell into a waiter. Crash. What a scene! <3 it!
Dan apologized to Blair. He shouldn’t have caused such a commotion. He really did understand why Blair was scared. Although, Lonely Boy had some good insight on the sitch. When the whole baby Milo and Georgina stuff happened to him last year, he wasn’t ready to be a father. But once he thought he was a dad he stepped up to the plate and did it. And wanted to do it. Louis or Chuck would obviously do the same. Probably? Thanks to Dan’s advice, Blair was ready and opened the letter. AHHHHHH!
Blair went to see Chuck. OMFG! She told him she was pregnant. OMFG again! And that Louis was the dad. OMFG what? Blair didn’t want Chuck to find out from someone else. Chuck was appreciative. Blair caught a glimpse of his dog. Wait. I thought he gave it away? Chuck told her the truth: he was actually just getting his pet fixed. How responsible! (And everyone should follow Chuck’s lead and do the same to their own animals!) But after Blair left, Chuck actually broke down and finally cried. Whoa. Guess he can feel once again? Good thing he has such a cute dog to comfort him.
When Blair told Louis that he was going to be a dad, the prince was ecstatic. Yay fatherhood! Blair was confused. What about the Hello Magazine interview and those unenthusiastic remarks about starting a family? Louis confessed he only said those things so that B wouldn’t be under constant baby watch by the crazy paparazzi. Oh, Louis. Truly a prince. Swoon.
After putting the Blair of it all to bed, Dan went to confront Noah who was at dinner with a bunch of literary heavyweights. Noah had stolen his book! Dan was actually the writer. How dare he? But Noah did something unexpected. He clapped, happily. Finally! Dan did the right thing by coming forward and admitting the reality. Destiny’s a scary thing to face and sometimes people need a push. And that’s just what Noah did. OMG Dan’s book is going to seriously come out! I cannot freaking believe it! Dying.
It looked like Charlie was staying in New York. And in Serena’s room, no less. Too bad, she couldn’t find her phone. Where was it? Oh, I know. Maybe with Nate and Diana? They had successfully returned all the phones they went through at the fashion show. And boy, did they find out some scandalous stuff. But they still had one phone whose owner they couldn’t locate. Someone named Ivy. Hmm…Who could that ever be?
Wow. Dan’s a published author. Chuck cried. Blair and Louis will be parents. And someone named Ivy is phone-less. Pretty eventful stuff on the UES. And for some reason, I have a feeling it’s only the beginning.
xoxo
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